Zazoo's (A.K.A. Place where I order a gin and tonic but get a really expensive cup of ice)/Louisville/Aug. 6th

This night happened to be the author's birthday party, thereby the notes had several guest writers. All names are omitted to protect the innocent and otherwise.
Let the drunk talkin' commence.

He needs to take his hair down!

I was wondering if he got it cut.

No!!!

I didn't know those were the words.

In Vegas, bands spend hundreds to look this "authentic."

I thought you were gonna say he should take his pants down.

...That's different.

He has perfect diction.

He has a confederate flag.

...That too!

15 minutes...okay, 10.

I just want to condition his hair.

This is how guys as ugly as AC/DC got laid.

The St. Matthews people are not so much like us. The men wear pleated shorts.

I wish I could let my hair down.

Do it sistah!

Gotta be better than the drummer's. His ends are split like Pitt and Aniston.

Wayne and Garth grew up!

[Protected Innocent] walks away during the "dirty girl" song. Thought he needed a dirty girl?

You're too dirty.

Only in the big bed with the fancy quilt.

Did you smell my birthday gift from Aveda?

[PI] misses you.

Our new QA dude pisses me off. (oh, and you're cool.)

Drummer boy looks like he's having a really good time.

I accidentally put one boob on [PI]'s back, and the other boob on [PI]'s back. Sorry...didn't realize what I did.

You won't get a free drink from either of those hounds.

He's mad photogenic and rocks it on one leg.

How very mammalian of you.

Don't want him to know what he's missing. I am but a lowly C minus.

[PI]'s hair is very rocker chick.

[PI] does what I tell her to do to your hair.

You are the man behind the curtain.

I would pay 5 American cash dollars to see a little styrofoam Stonehenge descend from the Kitty o' Ceiling right about now. With dancing dwarves. St. Matthew's goes to 11!

I suddenly feel 13.

I've tried to get [PI] to watch Fast Times at Ridgemont High as a cultural exercise, but he never bites.

Dude. I really want the Cameron Crowe book it was based on. Hard to come by. In the meantime, I'm just having some food, learning about Cuba.

He plays for us.

I should have worn a pantyliner.

You nasty bitch.

Do they know the Human League?

I wonder if Billy Idol bleached his pubes?

Did they play this at your prom?

Is this song about hobbitses? Tricky prom date hobbitses!!

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.

Hmmm...I could say something in response to this comment.

Nothing like chasing a tequila shot with a gin and tonic.

I hate St. Matthews. Once you turn thirty, shouldn't you stop wearing your high school ring?

I love making these people nervous.

You intimidating bitch you.

"I wanna hold you in my arms" He was looking at YOU.

I don't want to date him...only fuck him. He knows exactly how I feel.

If a St. Matthews guy went to Trinity and then graduated Magna Cum Laude from Harvard, you'll hear about Trinity every fucking time.

"See you at the game!" - random Trinity/St. X douchebag

So...[PI]...Where did you go to high school?

If you don't give the "correct" answer to that question, you're cast into social oblivion.

How old are these guys?

[PI] is my age, 35. I assume the rest are around the same age.

They kinda look hard for 35. I guess it's the rock 'n' roll lifestyle. I think they need one original power ballad.

Someone should have told me to come dressed as a video.

I think [PI] is drunk.

That's when the rocker hair comes in handy.

[PI]'s never broken the law in her life.

Wanna bet?

Spill it, bitch! Speeding tickets do not count.

God damn she took her glasses off for that one!

[PI] was both Beavis and Butthead on that one.

Dumb Fuckers, all.

{drawing of erect, ejaculating penis and hairy balls. Note says, "not to scale."}

{drawing of boobies. Note says, "on tha glass."}

We so need to pop [PI]'s pot smokin' cherry tonight.

Time and place bitches.

[Protected Place]

Can it be any roadside motel?

You can't relive the magic.

Yes we can...you suck.

It is DIRTY, remember?

Can we get like a Hilton or something similar?

But...smoke enough doobie and it won't matter.

That's where we went wrong last time! Geeting high in the Brown is better.

This is the only time I like Nugent.

He eats babies for snack.

Only baby oxen and squirrels.

I hear he's pretty handy with a bo staff.

ummm...yeah.

Your cousin is adorable.

I know.

[PI] seems unhappy. =(

I don't care.

I am perfectly happy, bitches! This is my club face. Pointedly disinterested.

{Hole in page with a note that says, "insert tongue here."}

I {heart} nipples. I {heart} abortion.

{Lip prints applied to page with a smooch.}

This is by far the funniest Bar Notes. We need to let men participate more often.

How the Hell will I type lip prints?

"smack"

I want him to play the "[PI]."

Does he know we named his guitar?

NO. Hell no!

[PI], it's just a plant.

Don't you wanna be one of the cool kids?

[PI]'s hammered.

Me 2.

Yeah...but you aren't mellowing out.

Where's [PI]?

I think he left.

He told me..."don't leave without me."

You kick more ass than Jackie Chan!

Her shoes were colored yellow!

When we're old, will there be Nirvana/Soundgarden/Mudhoney cover bands in bars? 50-yr olds in ratty flannel and "I'm Pro-Choice and I Vote" t-shirts?

I kind of hope so. I will wear my best retarded floppy hat.

and flannel

You are drunk. I already said flannel.

I want to start a grunge cover band called either "The Grunge Bunnies" or "The Vein Invaders."

Black Hole Fun
Rape You, Me and Everyone We Know
Java Man in a Box
Dallas Alice in Chains
Monkey Gone to Heaven {My favorite}
Mother Love Bone, Thugs 'n' Harmony
Primal Screaming Freebies

I'm out. We need to talk.

They do live band karaoke at the House of Blues in Vegas, and I have it on good authority that the band knows "Crown of Thorns." I've got to go and get drunk enough to sing it.

Mama, you're coming home.

"Crown of Thorns" is my favorite because even though he's singing about an addiction that will soon KILL HIM, he's so committed to the whole "cock rock" genre that he peppers the song with "yeah, baby" and "oh, child"

Go, Fern Creek!

The best rock songs sprinkle a liberal helping of "baby" and "oh yeah" into every chorus. It's how we convince ourselves we're still having fun.

Is [PI] really a metal head or does she just wanna bone the guitarist?

It's a fine line between fan and groupie.

This is the quintessential county fair Tilt-a-Whirl song!!

Can you do that yet?

Well no. "When the saints go marching in"

It's possible there are still girls left in this universe of ours who actually believe guitar prowess and sexual prowess are one and the same.

I am not that girl.

He's playing the [PI Guitar Name]. I want him to play me!

I am teacher.

You guys R in charge now.

La Bamba then my house?