Ye Ol' Dutch's Tavern 06/11/05

[Protected Innocent] is a moody mother fucker...I'm about over it. But I still wanna fuck him.

You're one to bitch about MOODY.

[PI] has some big hair tonight. Sore Subject?

Must be the rain. My hair is FLAT.

This is my Target shirt.

Gotta love Target.

Pussy ass drink. I'm a big girl, gimme a big girl drink.

Watching that guy dancing w/that lady is like watching horses fuck.

The show at Zazoo's was better, I think.

Notice he's playing "the Heather?"

They still do it better than the originals.

[Guest Writer] Stop staring at each other's tits!

Like on "Raymond" where Robert always touches his food to his chin.

It's way too early in the night for Pink Floyd.

They are going in the bathroom to help each other pick out their hair. Is there any doubt in your mind that they live south of the Watterson?

[PI] needs a dirty girl.

He had one 6 years ago and is just now appreciating it.

Wait a minute, how along ago did I date [PI]? 5 years? So many men...I've blown out my long term memory.

Is your [PI] feeling left out?

Since I never run into people I went to high school with, I wonder who's the loser. Me or them?

You actually feel the need to ask that question?

I've only been trying for him to eat me for 4 weeks!

Dear God get out of the bathroom. You missed the middle finger action.

I hate it when my boobs touch someone I don't know. Thank God it's a padded bra.

You are so funny about your body parts.

We need to take up a community collection to raise money to bring [PI] home to go to the Wigwam this summer.

I've got a pretty good buzz going.

I like the term "foxy."

It's so '70's.

Why, why, why, why doesn't he want to go out with me?

Cuz he's really busy.

Don't make excuses 4 him. If he were really interested he would find the time.

Nope. I think he's pretty fuckin' busy.

Were u ever hot for teacher?

Nope.

Who is this?

It's fun.

The seal is broken.

A lady in the bathroom line asked me if I went to Atherton.

I wanna mess up the guy's hair in front of me.

$20?

I'm so glad my husband isn't a douchebag.

I think I need the definition of douchebag. Shiny, new, post frat boy?

White linen pants and more product in his disappearing hair than in my whole bathroom.

And have you noticed they usually drive girly cars?

AND they look the type that would fuck a goat just to get into a fraternity. I'll bet these smarmy fux use bronzer.

Now we can see what 20 years of going to the tanning bed looks like.

I might talk alot about sex, but you'll never catch me doing it in public.

I never thought I'd see the day a brother was on stage w/the BRS.

Notice the Confederate flag isn't up?

That's who [PI] was helping when he lost his leg.